Perhaps my children have banned together to see how quickly I can unravel.
A little recap of last night:
9pm - I go to bed early. Headache
11pm - Avery up - needs a binky
12:30am - Avery up - needs a bottle
1am - Everyone is asleep....ahhh
2am - Carter is up screaming “Mommy!!! Mommy I pooped! Mommy come clean my butt!”
2:10am - Still yelling...I should go in. He had better not be faking it to get me in there
2:11am - I realize he’s faking it. He just wants to tell me about his day at Disney on Ice
2:15am - He’s back in his bed and seems calm enough that I can go back to bed.
2:30am - He’s screaming and crying again. And now it’s starting to wake up Avery (but not Chad)
2:45am - I give Chad Avery’s monitor and head for Carter’s room...not sure how this will work out...
3am - I find myself convinced into sleeping on the floor in Carter’s room. About 10% of my body fits on his “Cars” sleeping bag and I am curled in a ball under his fireman blanket.
The following conversation ensues:
Carter: Mommy in Carter’s room
Me: Yup - now go to bed. Ok buddy?
Carter: Mommy, you on my cars blankie
Me: Uh huh
Carter: Mommy, my butt hurts. Want mommy to change me
Me: Carter, you’re clean - remember....we just checked
Carter: Butt hurts. Kiss my butt. Put ice on my butt
Me: Carter - your butt is fine. Just go to bed
Carter: Mommy, I have boogies
Me: Go to bed
a few minutes go by
Carter: My boogies hurt. Kiss my boogies.
...........breaks into laughter........................
Me: Not funny. Go to bed
Carter: Done napping Mommy, go downstairs maybe?
Carter: Watch mickey on tv maybe?
some time passes....ahh...silence
Carter: Saw a famboni today mommy
Me: I know buddy - we talked about the zamboni at dinner. Go to bed
Carter: Rode on a train today mommy
Me....now realizing that responding is egging him on.....silence from my end
Carter: Train mommy....train....train mommy. TRRRRR....AIIIINNNN mommy
Carter: FAMMMMM BONE EEEE
Carter: Boogie. FAM BONE EE. Train. BOOOOOOOgie
more time...more silence...giving me hope that he's asleep
Carter (now climbing out of bed to lay next to me on the floor): I lay by mommy
Carter: Mommy, you napping?
Me: Carter, mommy is sleeping...go to bed
Carter (now trying to pull my eye lids open): Hi Mommy. HIIII
Me (checking the clock and seeing that it’s now 3:30am - am now feeling desperate): Carter...do you want a timeout?
Carter: Yes timeout....timeout downstairs...then watch front end loaders on tv maybe?
Me (realizing that he’s utilizing a timeout to get downstairs): sigh
Carter: What’s that smell?
Me: I don’t know...go to bed
Carter: I FARRRRRRT. Fart. Fart. Fart. Fart fart fart fart. Ahh haaaa haaaa
Me: Seriously...go to bed or you’ll get in trouble
Carter: Sorry mommy....
This went on until just after 4am. And then he woke up at 6am.