Monday, January 10, 2011

She's come undone (almost)

Perhaps my children have banned together to see how quickly I can unravel.

A little recap of last night:

9pm - I go to bed early. Headache

11pm - Avery up - needs a binky

12:30am - Avery up - needs a bottle

1am - Everyone is asleep....ahhh

2am - Carter is up screaming “Mommy!!! Mommy I pooped! Mommy come clean my butt!”

2:10am - Still yelling...I should go in. He had better not be faking it to get me in there

2:11am - I realize he’s faking it. He just wants to tell me about his day at Disney on Ice

2:15am - He’s back in his bed and seems calm enough that I can go back to bed.

2:30am - He’s screaming and crying again. And now it’s starting to wake up Avery (but not Chad)

2:45am - I give Chad Avery’s monitor and head for Carter’s room...not sure how this will work out...

3am - I find myself convinced into sleeping on the floor in Carter’s room. About 10% of my body fits on his “Cars” sleeping bag and I am curled in a ball under his fireman blanket.

The following conversation ensues:

Carter: Mommy in Carter’s room

Me: Yup - now go to bed. Ok buddy?

Carter: Mommy, you on my cars blankie

Me: Uh huh

Carter: Mommy, my butt hurts. Want mommy to change me

Me: Carter, you’re clean - remember....we just checked

Carter: Butt hurts. Kiss my butt. Put ice on my butt

Me: Carter - your butt is fine. Just go to bed

Carter: Mommy, I have boogies

Me: Go to bed

a few minutes go by

Carter: My boogies hurt. Kiss my boogies.

...........breaks into laughter........................

Me: Not funny. Go to bed

Carter: Done napping Mommy, go downstairs maybe?

Me: No

Carter: Watch mickey on tv maybe?

Me: No

some time passes....ahh...silence

Carter: Saw a famboni today mommy

Me: I know buddy - we talked about the zamboni at dinner. Go to bed

Carter: Rode on a train today mommy realizing that responding is egging him on.....silence from my end

Carter: Train mommy....train....train mommy. TRRRRR....AIIIINNNN mommy


Carter: Boogie. FAM BONE EE. Train. BOOOOOOOgie

more time...more me hope that he's asleep

Carter (now climbing out of bed to lay next to me on the floor): I lay by mommy

Carter: Mommy, you napping?

Me: Carter, mommy is sleeping...go to bed

Carter (now trying to pull my eye lids open): Hi Mommy. HIIII

Me (checking the clock and seeing that it’s now 3:30am - am now feeling desperate): you want a timeout?

Carter: Yes timeout....timeout downstairs...then watch front end loaders on tv maybe?

Me (realizing that he’s utilizing a timeout to get downstairs): sigh

Carter: What’s that smell?

Me: I don’t know...go to bed

Carter: I FARRRRRRT. Fart. Fart. Fart. Fart fart fart fart. Ahh haaaa haaaa

Me: Seriously...go to bed or you’ll get in trouble

Carter: Sorry mommy....

This went on until just after 4am. And then he woke up at 6am.


Bilbo said...

That's why grandchildren are so nice...their parents get to deal with all that! Just picture that day in the future when Carter and Avery are dealing with THEIR children...and smile.

Wendi said...

Oh, poor you! But it'll be over soon. I promise--mine are 7 and 9 and haven't awakened me at night for YEARS.

amy said...

thanks for the chuckle ;) following you on twitter now, too!