Sunday, November 7, 2010

Because it’s always a crowd favorite:

Some of my favorite recent household conversations:

Chad: Carter, did you poop?
Carter: No, Avery pooped
Chad: No, I think you pooped
Chad (after checking Carter’s pants to confirm): Yea, buddy … it was you
Carter (now laughing): Yea Daddy, clean my butt

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Me (while putting piano music on Pandora): Warning honey, I’m going to play some piano music, but I promise it’s really beautiful music
Chad (now glaring at me): Great … beautiful
Me (sounding exciting - but knowing he couldn't care less): Some of the piano music is remakes of current popular music

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Me (bending over to pick up a toy mid-sentence): Could Carter drag out one more toy today?
Chad .... makes a farting noise
Me: Honey, at some point in our marriage … could I bend over to pick something up without you making a farting noise?
Chad: Probably not

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Chad: Does your phone need some juice?
Me: Yes … can you hook it up to the charger?
Chad (holding his hands out and making some whistling noise): throw it here
Me (wondering if he remembers how un-athletic I am) … throwing it … and then cringing as it almost hits the ceiling … and then lands about three feet away from him
Chad: Seriously, w h a t was that?
Me: You knew you didn’t marry an athletic girl
Chad: But that was …
Me (trying to stretch to anything that would defend my lack of athletic abilities): Oh whatever … i’m not athletic … you married a lady honey
Chad (breaking into song): A lady in the street but a freak …

(… we all know how this song ended, but seeing as my grandma reads this blog (and I guarantee she doesn’t know the lyrics to this song) I just left out the rest of the song lyrics on purpose... )

Me: Oh seriously …
Chad: Find the piano version of that song

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