Sunday, May 2, 2010

Do you ever feel like you’re talking to a wall:

A night at the gotfam residence:

- I wake up sweating profusely (I typically never sweat and am always cold when I sleep). I drink some water to see if that helps. Nope
- Still sitting on the edge of the bed, I feel like I’m spinning. Am I drunk? Is this college?
- My stomach is cramping, my back is cramping, I’m dizzy…and I feel like I may throw up.

Who’s sexy?

- I text chad (who fell asleep on the couch downstairs) “I need help”
…..No response….
- Damnit (I think to myself)…now I have to walk my fat, sweaty, dizzy ass downstairs.
- Chad calls my doctor. At this point, I’m in tears because my stomach and back are cramping so bad.
- The on call doctor (whom I have never met) calls back and is acting terribly annoyed.

Bitchy doctor: tell me again what is happening
Me: I’m 35 weeks pregnant, my stomach is cramping, my back is cramping, I’m dizzy and nauseous, and I am sweating but keep feeling cold.
Bitchy doctor: have you been drinking water?
Me: Are you serious? Yes…yes I have been drinking water – this isn’t dehydration.
Bitchy Doctor: It sounds like a blood sugar issue. All classic symptoms.
Me: I doubt that too – I had a big meal and even snacked more before bed, and I’ve been drinking water all day – I just don’t think this is dehydration or blood…..
Bitchy Doctor (interrupting me): maybe eat something
Me: uck - I don’t feel hungry…that’s not why I’m calling
Bitchy Doctor: Maybe some crackers with peanut butter. Or anything with peanut butter
Me: WHAT? W H A T ?? I don’t see how peanut butter will help this situation.
Bitchy Doctor: well, you can go to the hospital if you want … but they’re just going to give you an iv and send you home.
Me: Well, I had preterm labor with my last pregnancy…should I be concerned?
Bitchy Doctor: I don’t know
Me: O K ... So, what if this is still going on in an hour or two?
Bitchy Doctor: I don’t know…then go to the hospital if you want.
Me: this is ridiculous…thanks so much for your time….bye
Bitchy Doctor: bye

There are no words.

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