For those of you that are not from/in Northeast Ohio, we have this grocery store called Giant Eagle (insert: “-vs-small eagle?” joke here). It’s your standard run of the mill grocery store…except that (at a lot of locations) it offers a childcare room. Now, I have never tried the childcare room. I always sort of thought, “geez…it’s a 30 minute shopping trip, if Carter can’t handle that…what type of mom am I?”
I’ll tell you what type of mom I am. I’m the mom that wants to personally apologize to everyone at Giant Eagle (and potentially buy them all a beer) after Carter’s Giant Eagle performance from this morning. That’s the kinda mom I am. The “sorry I can’t control my kid…can I buy you a beer for your troubles” mom. I'm the mom that plans to check out the childcare room next time I go to the store.
Todays shopping trip went down like this:
- We went to Carter’s baby gym and played for over an hour (I thought this would wear him down some).
- We head to the grocery store.
- Carter didn’t want to sit in the shopping cart…so he threw his body all over to avoid being put into the cart’s seat. And then he went limp on me … so that I couldn’t hold him over the seat anymore.
- We fought about whether or not he was going to sit in the front of the cart for about 5 minutes. I gave up and carried him into the store and then started the fight again (the glares from other shoppers started at this point).
- I gave up (again) and just put him in the back of the shopping cart.
- The automated announcements about not placing your child in the basket-part of the shopping cart started to play over the intercom (do they always play that much…maybe this was the first time I noticed).
- More glares from other shoppers.
- Carter threw anything I put into the cart out…so I started to pile everything into the bottom and seat of the cart.
- Carter took off his jacket and shirt (while I was picking out meat).
- I see another mommy and child from Carter’s baby gym class. Her child is nicely sitting in his seat (which is covered by a sterile-looking cart cover). The mom is placing organic/healthy food into her cart.
- My child is shirtless in the wrong part of the cart yelling things and throwing cans.
- The other mom says to me, “I bribe him to be good with pretzels” as if to point out that my child was a rule-less beast…and as if I had never thought of bribery. I reply, “I threaten to sell him on ebay if he’s not good” obviously kidding. She looks worried and wanders off.
- Carter starts yelling, “Go Dog Go…” as we walked through aisles
- An older woman comes up to me and quietly says, “don’t worry honey – we have all been there.” And I want to hug her and ask her to please watch my child while I hit my head against a wall for a bit…instead I smile and thank her …as Carter throws a can of beans onto the floor.
- Finally ... done ... now time to check out.
- The bagger asks if I can “please put my child into the seat” so that he can bag my groceries and I want to respond, “oh sure…it’s that easy.”
- I try to put Carter into the cart’s seat.
- He takes his pants off and stomps on the seat with his pants around his ankles.
- He’s finally in the seat (sideways…but whatever).
- He takes his shirt back off….his pants are still around his ankles.
- He stands back up…with his pants down…shirt off…and hits me in the head and yells, “bad dog” (which actually sounded more like BAAA DOGG).
And that was our trip. Now...he's napping - and I am about to watch my dvr-ed episode of nanny 911 to try to determine if I have enabled my child to be crazy...or if he's just wild sometimes. I apreciate that she calls wild children "free spirited" rather than the obvious "demon spawns..."