Here is the breakdown of how a hearing test goes for a toddler. They bring the toddler and his/her adult into a small dark, ridiculously warm and creepy chamber. And then they close the door - an oversized steel door. How this is necessary …I don’t know. But it really felt like a scene from the movie Saw was about to take place.
Then it gets weirder. A noise comes through a speaker on either side of the room … if the child looks at it … a strange pink elephant bangs on cymbals and a red light shines up into the elephants face. I guess this is the best, most un-creepy test that the hearing specialists could come up with. Because holding a shot gun up to their head and screaming, “can you hear me now,” not scary enough? And after this part of the test is done - they attempt to put little probes in the childs ears - as if any child (any age) would allow this.
But I fake smiled and thanked them for their time while I rushed my screaming child out of their office (never to return).
- Hearing test results = no obvious hearing issues.
- Dr’s response to test results = perhaps he has had so many ear infections that he has just had a heard time learning to talk (due to the fluid in his ears making sounds more muffled).
- My response to everyone else’s responses = He can talk when he wants to (and he can have as many cheddar bunnies as he wants for having put up with all of these tests).