Saturday, January 30, 2010

If I watch anymore Nick Jr. I may explode

Carter and I have been trapped in the house since Tuesday. I guess we could go someplace to get out – but I always glare at those moms that bring their sick kids out. So, now I am at the mercy of my own wrath. If I were not such a judgmental jerk, this wouldn’t be a problem … I’d just pack Carter up and lug him around like all of the other moms around here.

Instead, we have built forts, put puzzles together, read books, practiced words, chased the dog, built with legos, learned to blow our nose (this didn’t work so well) and watched a LOT of Nick Jr. If I have to hear, “the phone, the phone is ringing…” one more time … or “swiper no swiping…” or, “don’t bite your friends,” I may throw up.

For those of you that are not subjected to these cartoons daily, these phrases are from The Wonder Pets, Dora the Explorer and Yo Gabba Gabba. Three of the dumbest cartoons ever. But Carter loves them.

I’ll give you a run down:

The Wonder Pets: A duckling, a guinea pig and a turtle all live in a one room school house by day and become animal saviors by night … well, it’s always light out – so early evening … maybe 4ish. They fly around in this poorly constructed lego-meets-tupperware-boat/plane. There are a lot of songs about team work and well ... other forms of team work while on missions to save baby (fill-in-the-blank) animals from impending doom (or just something scary…like their first day of preschool).

Pros: At times it’s cute (the baby animals can be cute). Plus – the writers can be pretty creative with background imagery.

Cons: The duckling has this annoying lisp and always messes words up (he (or she) always sings a part in the show that goes, “this is serious,” but it always comes out, “this is therious”). Which is cute if it’s your own kid - but when it’s a singing duck on your kids cartoon - you end up wanting to punch it after a few episodes.

Dora the Explorer: A girl and her monkey (named boots … because he wears some sort of moon boots) go on random and meaningless adventures. They are accompanied by a singing backpack, a singing map, various singing bugs and a fox that appears at less than opportune times and takes their shit.

Pros: I’ve got nothin’ here.

Cons: She spends a lot of time talking about a bush … in almost every episode.

Yo Gabba Gabba: I just have no words to describe this show. If you are on, have ever been on, or ever plan to be on drugs … this show may make sense to you. But I make no guarantees.

Pros: Watching this is like being on drugs.

Cons: Watching this is like being on drugs.

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