Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I’ve decided that tomorrow I will teach the child about working in a corporation (just in case):

8am – he will awake to find that I have left him a memo announcing that I will be “the chair” of a 10am meeting regarding his lunch. He will wonder what "the chair" means...and why I couldn't just use another word.

8:30am – I will inform him that we will be having a 9am meeting to prepare for our 10am meeting. I’ll ask him to bring his thoughts on what he would like for lunch.

9am- Pre-Meeting: I will show him a partial outline of what I plan to tell him about at our 10am meeting (he won't get much from it...as it won't actually show much). I’ll ask him what his thoughts are on what he would like his lunch to be (specifically, could he please give me 3 food options…)
10am Meeting: I will show him 3 lunch options (all from the suggestions that he had brought up at our 9am meeting…except I will take credit for having thought of them).
I’ll ask him to point to a food from the 3 options – and let him know that this will be his lunch.

Noon: I will feed him a different food and then tell him that he had in fact picked this food…and not the food that he clearly remembers having selected.

12:15pm: I will send out a lunch conclusion memo using him as an example of how employees that don’t want to make mistakes should take better notes. And then I will cleverly make myself look like a compassionate and intelligent leader with a carefully worded warm ending.

12:30: Carter will go down for his nap angry and confused. Had he really picked that for lunch? He clearly remembers picking something else…he thinks I may have made that mistake…but is it worth confronting me? Would he be considered a “bad team player” if he confronted me? His review is coming up – maybe it’s better to keep quiet. But it seems like crap that he is the one that came up with the three food options and I took credit. This is all so unfair, he'll think.

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