Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When I was little, I ate stuff (this has all of the makings for a riveting blog entry right?)

I ate everything. Plants, dirt (I blame my brother for this…no Andy..it wasn’t chocolate…not one time that you said it would be), crap off the floor (that I have to assume I had left there…since my mom was the vacuum queen), a picture of my cousin, soap, more dirt (still lookin’ at you here Andy), a hole in the screen door (again…Andy), you name it…I ate it. To the point that my mom had the poison control center speed dialed on our home phone.

This may have made me a challenging child to raise. But my parents looked at it more as me being inquisitive. This is why my parents are so great (I’m sucking up – you’ll understand why when you read the rest of this blog entry).

So one day, I ate a marble. It was all shiny and “eat me, I’m a yummy yummy marble.” So I ate it. And my mom instantly freaked out. Apparently, a marble can do bad things to a child (I still don’t fully understand what it could do…but I appreciate (now) what my mom had to do in order for us to not find out what could happen).

For the next three days, my mom had to dig through my poo to make sure the marble in fact came out and wasn’t lodged in my intestines somewhere creating a blockage that would cause my marble-eating little six year old body to spontaneously combust.

This brings me to today’s question: Am I a dig-through-your-kids-poo kinda mom? I would like to think that I could do anything to help Carter out…but when Carter ate a penny today – all I could think was, “look kid, you’re spittin’ that thing out because I am SO not digging through your poo!” And I spent the next few minutes fighting with him to get the penny back out of his mouth. I’m happy to report that I won.

So, am I a crappy mom…or do I just have poo issues? I don’t know the answer to this. A better question would be, should I have warned my readers that today’s entry would contain graphic poo-related material?

Here is Carter (still angry that I took the penny away - but somewhat happy with the muffin I gave him instead).

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