Tuesday, June 30, 2009

More tidbits from a normal conversation at the GotFam household:

Chad: Honey – we only have 4 beers left in the fridge
Me: Crap…that’s not enough for a…Tuesday night
Chad: I’ll get more later

……..20 minutes later………..

Chad: I’m going to walk up to the corner store and get more beer
(understand that it takes less than 1 minute to walk to the corner store)
Me: We’re going to miss being able to walk to get stuff when we move
Chad: We’ll have to plan ahead better
Me: Or always have a keg in the kegerator
Me (wondering to myself): will we ever make it through a week without drinking?
Me (laughing at myself): Ahhh haaa….no

Chad (while walking in the door carrying beer): I got a ride home…because I was told that I looked like a degenerate walking down the street carrying a case of beer
Me: That’s cool

……..A few minutes goes by………..

Me: Wait, someone drove you home because you were carrying beer?
Chad: Yea
Me: Uhh…who?
Chad: My Buddy Ferone…because he said I looked ridiculous
Me: Haa…you got a pity ride on your beer run…it’s almost like a walk-of-shame
Chad: Close enough

Monday, June 29, 2009

As Auntie Regina said, “Carter is like a little ninja!”

Due to our little ninja and our petting zoo of mildly-manic animals, we have had to install baby gates throughout our house … a LOT of baby gates. I guess I could also blame the fact that this house has way more stairs than necessary to get from one floor to the next.

But really, when you’re buying a century home – dual stairs are pretty cool. Sadly though, when you’re buying baby gates - not so cool anymore.

So here's the baby gate breakdown:

Gate #1: In Carter’s bedroom door. It’s just necessary – I won’t elaborate. Ok I will (some), sometimes mommy needs a potty break...and Carter is only to be trusted in ear-shot to mommy.
Gate #2: Strategically angled to block off the back up-stairs, the dog food bowl (I guess babies like crunchy dog kibble) and the stairs to the basement.
Gate #3: This gate is at the landing of the basement (by our prized kegerator). This gate’s purpose is to block the dog from going into the basement and eating the cats food…thus causing the cat to poop right next to his liter box in retaliation. This gate was difficult to install, since it’s about a foot off the ground – so our poo-challenged cat can squeeze under it.

Gate #4: This gate was installed today. We had been avoiding installing a gate at the bottom of our beautiful wood stairs. Instead, we had piled some very large throw pillows. And surprisingly this had been keeping Carter from wanting to climb the stairs towards the second floor….until today...

...Today – while I was loading the dishwasher (read: over-dramatically singing along to Paula Abdul’s “Rush Rush”) Carter pushed one of the throw pillows to the side and climbed all of the wood stairs. By himself. And then he turned the corner in the landing and climbed the rest of the stairs to the second floor.

I found him splashing toilet water in the bathroom. Which is not only disgusting … but also total justification for an effing heart attack.

We were hoping to make it until we moved to finalize our baby proofing (since we thought he was pretty well contained). We were wrong. We close on this house in less than 30 days…and we fully plan to baby proof (even the things we cannot feasibly see him getting to) this week.

My child has a target aversion

When we go to Target, he immediately starts to squirm around in his shopping cart seat ... he yells, he screams, he throws tantrums…he hates Target.

Maybe someone could explain to Carter that Target is one of mommy’s happy places. It’s like a magical fairy land where everything is trendy and cute … yet cheap.

Where you can buy Capri pants, diapers (for children AND adults…not that I buy the latter), shampoo, organic baby yogurt, booze, microwave pizza, new lightbulbs, new sheets, cheese or more booze. What’s not to like about that?

I like to think that when I go there – it’s my lunch date with Isaac Mizrahi. And Carter is ruining my fantasy land.

There has to be a solution to this madness.

When he is older – I’ll simply explain that if he’s not good, all of the toys mommy would have purchased for him at Target will go bye bye….ohh…and the tooth fairy will be held hostage until he is good for mommy through an entire Target trip. But I can’t reason with him yet.

Tidbits of a very normal conversation in the GotFam household:

While signing papers to sell our house (this past weekend):

Realtor: … here is the lead-based paint disclaimer form...
Me: I think maybe if you don’t chew on windows or painted trim, you’ll be ok.
Buyer: I’ll keep that in mind…I’m thinking it doesn’t look appetizing though
Me: Yea…but you may have a drunken night…and you just can’t know what will happen
Buyer: I’ll try to stay away from the paint

Me: So, specifically how much paint would you have to consume in order for the lead-based chemicals to harm you?
Realtor (looking annoyed): I’m not sure
Me: And can it actually kill you, or does it just run the risk of making people dumber?
Chad: Honey…only you
Me: I kind of want to know now…I have more questions about this…
Chad: My wife asks a lot of questions
Me: Fine, I’ll google it later

In case anyone is wondering; a few things that came up in my research(this is JUST ONE thing):
“Consuming lead paint (as an adult) can lead to a reduced attention span”

Now, if you know my husband…well, i’ll leave it at that

Disclaimer: lead-based paint can be very dangerous for children, pregnant women and anyone that ingests it (willingly or unwillingly). Please keep children away from lead-based paint and always read safety guides on lead-based paint and all household dangers – to ensure your families safety

Friday, June 26, 2009

My Dirty Little Monkey

This is what my child looks like when he should have had a bath...the day before. I promise to bath him tonight.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Carter went to bed dirty tonight:

When Chad left for softball tonight, I had plans of feeding Carter dinner, playing and then starting bathtime … and a very long bathtime it was going to be since it was a particularly dirty baby day).

Today’s events went something like this:
- I was assembling the baby pool in the backyard when Carter found the baby sunblock container and unscrewed the top. He then proceed to pour the sunblock all over his head and face.
- I put Carter in the baby pool and he screamed.
- I cleaned him up and put him down for a nap.
- He got up from his nap an hour later and we went back outside to play in the yard.
- He finally wanted to go in the pool.
- I let him go in the pool in his onesie and normal diaper (I’m a new mommy…I sort of thought, "what's the big deal?").
- His diaper proceeded to soak up half of the water in his pool.
- I brought him back inside to change him and clean him up.
- I got his diaper off and then realized that my new box of diapers was still downstairs.
- I put a naked (diaperless) baby down in his room to play and hoped for the best.
- When I came back upstairs with his new diapers – he was standing at the babygate in his doorway peeing into the hallway (for those of you that know Chad, you can’t be too surprised).

Needless to say, Carter was pretty dirty from today’s events. So when Chad left for softball and I had all of these plans for a big long bathtime…I guess I didn’t take into account the massive thunderstorm headed towards Cleveland. When it hit, I thought nothing of it. I went about my business. And then it REALLY hit.

Lightning, thunder, more lightning (across the street), the local sirens started going off, you name it and it was very storm…y.

Now, if you know me…you know I HATE storms. I get very irrational and assume they’re going to produce tornados and I run for lower ground. So Carter and I went into the basement. Then the power went out…and I started to really freak out (so I called my parents to see if they could find out if we were in a tornado warning – I am telling you – I am mortified of tornados).

So when I heard rain in my kitchen…I assume that the whole house had fallen in and we were totally doomed. Really, the kitchen door had blown open and it was raining…into my kitchen. So me, being me (irrational about storms) I ran towards the door to close and lock it before we all blew away into the land of oz. And…then it happened. I fell. But it wasn’t that simple. It was more of a trainwreck of an event than just a simple fall.

I flew up in the air (oh yea – I caught air). My skinny girl arms and legs were flailing around like Kermit limbs, and I bit it…hard. And since I was holding Carter, I made sure that the side of the body with Carter was saved from the fall…so now my entire left side is all bumped and bruised. And my ankle looks all funny and puffy.

When Chad got home - he laughed at me and said that I am, "the only trainwreck he knows that could actually hurt herself inside during a normal Ohio thunderstorm." Yes, yes that’s me. I’ll own it.

So, Carter went to bed without a bath…because I can barely move. My poor little stinky baby. I promised him a big fun bathtime tomorrow with extra duckies.
This is a picture of a very very tired Carter - wanting to be picked up. Shortly after, he went to bed ... without a bath.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Our Toddler

Sometime in the last month – our baby became a toddler.

He puts his arms up to be picked up and then immediately wants you to put him down. But when you put him down – he throws a fit and wants you to pick him back up.

He thinks the word “No” is funny and proceeds to do more of whatever we just told him ‘no’ about. He pounds on EVERYTHING.

Yet – still no walking. He will walk with furniture or our assistance, but it seems like he has no interest in walking on his own yet. How can this be? The child that seems to do everything early – is almost 11 months old and still isn’t walking.
Don’t mind me counting my blessings over here that he isn’t walking and destroying anything that is left in our house just yet.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Mistake on the Lake

40 years ago today – the Cuyahoga River caught fire in Cleveland Ohio…rendering North East ohio “the mistake on the lake” forever.

I respectfully disagree. When I was driving my little red Mazda mx6 through northeast ohio YEARS ago, I never would have thought that when it started to break down – it would be the start of the rest of my life.

I honestly thought that I was going to pack up my Mazda and move from my little college town to Boston (without having a job or apartment lined up) and be fine.

Nope – I stopped at “The mistake on the lake” to see a friend for a while … my Mazda started having issues and I decided that maybe I will find a job, get a new car – and then later move to the east coast (or London).

Well…to sum up a few years – that turned into me finding a cool job, buying a new car, staying with the cool job, meeting a really cool guy, being tempted (financially) into a new “cool” (read: shitty) job (and new SUV), and then when that second job fell apart (the company was sold/disintegrated) I desperately went to a shitty shitty huge corporation … and somewhere along the line … I got married and had a baby … all on “The mistake on the lake.”

So, the next time you hear the term – the mistake on the lake … just know – it’s not a mistake for everyone. For some people – it’s the most wonderful place on earth. Yea – I’m cheesy … judge me ... but look at my husband and son. You can't deny the cuteness.

High in Cheese-factor. Higher in Cuteness

We had some professional photos taken recently. Here are some:

I can't stand the cuteness. First he says MaMa and now I get to see these ... i'm going to implode from all of the cuteness that is around me this week.


Yesterday was a big day for the GotFam for so many reasons:

1.) It was father’s day. Which is super cool because it was Chads first Father’s Day and my dads first Fathers Day as a grandpa. So it was really cool to spend the day with Chad and Carter while watching them interact and play.

2.) It was Layla’s birthday. I’m a terrible doggy mommy. I had her birthday marked down on the calendar and then completely forgot. I have scene’s from ‘Marley and Me’ running through my head as I type this and it makes me feel so bad. Needless to say – it is being made up to her. She had her birthday McDonalds ice cream cone last night (and fatty mommy had one too). I’m not sure how this tradition started – but we can’t change it now.

So happy 7th (read: 49th) birthday Layla. You’re the best big doggy sister ever.

3.) We had an offer on our house that we will potentially accept this week

4.) We walked through a house that we liked that we will potentially put an offer on this week

5.) We made ribs at home for the first time – and they were FABULOUS

6.) I finally watched the DVR’ed finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And it was all of the scripted drama that it had been hyped up to be. I love that train wreck of a show. So ridiculous, so unrealistic – such tv gold!

7.) Ohh ... and Carter said 'MaMa' for the first time. I want to think that he knew that he was talking about me (and has only been saving it for the perfect heart-melting moment). But I think he actually just mumbled something more like AH MUH MUH. But you know what – CLOSE ENOUGH.

Friday, June 19, 2009


The new obsession around the GotFam house – trucks trucks trucks.

Carter can’t get enough of trucks lately. He smashes them into each other, he flips them over and inspects how they work, he pushes them around – he LOVES trucks.
There are all of these great trucks out there for kids. Ones that make noises, ones that don’t (I call these the parental sanity trucks), ones that are soft sided, ones that hide under furniture and only appear to trip you when you’re carrying a laundry basket, ones that look like monster trucks (also know as my neighbors drag racing car), ones that look like cute trucks, ones that look like a school bus, etc.

90% Mommy 10% Dirty Dirty Pirate

The Cheerio mobile stalled today … mid intersection. Now ... I should give you some background on the Cheerio mobile.

When I started working in Chagrin Falls (read: the other side of the planet for Cleveland west-siders) a few years ago I had a mini-break down about driving from the west side of Cleveland into the snow belt of Ohio everyday … in my tiny tiny Honda Accord. So, I thoughtlessly ran out and bought an SUV.

So, a few years later – my SUV is falling apart (and has been - pretty much from the second we drove it off the lot). Call it karma, call it …well…karma.

I was the girl that had always wanted to buy a mini cooper or a hybrid something or other … and I ran my mouth and made fun of people that drove SUV’s - saying how much money they wasted on gas – and how much they were ruining the environment, blah blah blah. Now – I’m wasting money on gas and I'm ruining the environment … in a large piece of crap-mobile that stalls in the middle of major intersections. If that isn’t karma, I don’t know what is.

Yet, I can’t bring myself to buy a new car. My husband has wanted to buy a new car for me for months (read: since I bought this one). He hates my car … HATES it. But I can’t justify buying a new one when Carter is getting to the age that he smashes cheerios into the seats – hence the name … the cheerio mobile.

So, (back to how this story started) the cheerio mobile stalled out in the middle of a major intersection today. And I want to say I reacted responsibly and put my flashers on. But…I just didn’t.

I freaked out and started using some VERY BAD words while waving my hands around rapidly as if I was going to fly us out of the intersection. And then I proceeded to swear while traffic honked at me forever (read: about 30 seconds).

In the next few weeks … if Carter says anything fishy … I’ll know where he heard that language. From his dirty dirty pirate-mouthed mommy.

(ironically, I dressed as a pirate for halloween this year - but the only picture I have from this is WAY inappropriate...)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I'm almost done obsessing about this...

This is a total conspiracy (read: CRAP CRAP CRAP). I have tried and tried to email the peps at the Bloggers Choice Awards and nothing.

Nobody will respond to me. Yet my WONDERFUL readers are trying to vote for me – and they’re hit with a barrage of problems trying to vote.

If you’re having any of the following problems …join the club:
- An error occurs when you try to put your email address in – and the blogger peps say that your "email already exists"
- You go through the entire registration process and then get an error screen that just politely apologizes for completely wasting your effing time
- You register, vote and then sit back to drink your beer and realize later that your vote never actually went through
- You want to vote…but everytime you click on the cool icon it takes you to an error page
- You wish I would get over this whole thing - and go back to blogging about poop and squishy peas

It’s all a big conspiracy. I’m not sure for what yet – but it’s gotta be big. I wonder if Obama knows about this. Cheney HAS to.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On a Side Note:

Ok...since there was some minor confusion....allow me to clear up some stuff:

1.) Yes - the blog is up for "hottest mommy blogger" AND "best parenting blog"

2.) No - I don't give a crap about the "best parenting blog" category...because it just sounds boring. And I try very hard not to be boring. Not to mention - I don't want to mislead people. If someone sees that people voted for me for "best parenting blog" and starts to read my blog - I would hate for them to think that I am a parental role model...because CLEARLY....well...let's just leave it at that.

3.) No - "hottest mommy blogger" has nothing to do with my appearance. It is using the word "hot" to refer to the "thing to watch"

4.) No - I do not think I am "hot"

Marsha Marsha Dooce

Ok, so the "Why can't I figure out how to vote for you" dilema has been solved. Here are 6 simple steps to help (so PULLLEZZZ vote for me):

1.) Click on the perty black icon to the right that says "Bloggers Choice Awards"

2.) This screen should come up (well, minus the big red arrow..that is for you to follow):

3.) Click on the "Vote here" icon (where the arrow is pointing)

4.) You will have to register for your vote to go through (and count). Do this by clicking on "Create One Now!"

Don't forget to put in the secret verification words (i forgot to put them in...because they're on the side...and easy to miss (which describes my whole high school experience)

This isn't because the folks at the Bloggers Choice Awards want to cyber stalk you, or find out your bank account number or blood type...it's just there to help prevent cheating (people that just sit at their computer and vote for themselves over and over) and to make sure you're not some weird cyber alien trying to hack into their lovely (and well organized) site.

5.) Once you're done registering - it will send you an email (to make sure you didn't just make the email up...i know this because i tried...while making these instructions for you...and then my registration was lost forever in cyberland)

6.) Then...vote away! But for me of course (screw Dooce.com...i know she's been at this WAY long and is WAY more interesting...but for once...the little guy should win!) (I still love you though dooce...kisses)

p.s. if you still have problems...i wouldn't blame you for being frustrated, or even ANGRY...but just email me and I will try to solve all of your problems (relating to this post). Their website has a lot of traffic (read: problems) and I am working with them (read: firing off angry emails at them) to make this voting process easier.

Spreading the Love

I have been trying not to blog about our housing dilemma. But this is just too funny. We have our house up for sale AGAIN. And we’re on a mad dash to find a new home (since we lost the one that we wanted to a higher bidder…a WAY higher …well you get the point).

Now, I find most of the real estate process to be funny. Realtors are funny, potential house buyers are funny, realtors are funny (did I say that already?), houses we walk through are REALLY funny, it's all very very funny.

While looking at some of the homes that came up in our search today – I stopped at one home's description. It said (I kid you not): “This house has been wonderful – it was our favorite house that we have ever lived in. There is love spread across every wall.”

Uhh…at the risk of sounding immature – that is SUPER funny.


In my head – babies didn’t really throw fits (as in tantrums) until they were actually toddlers (which I also sort of thought started at 2 years old). You can tell I’m new at this.

So, when Carter started throwing little tantrums, I chalked them up as him being tired or him being hungry or him “insert excuse here.” But yesterday when I took the remote control away from him (Wendy – this is my karma for laughing that Collin loved the remote so much) – he threw a HUGE fit. He stomp-crawled back and forth between the foyer and living room while moaning, yelling, crying, yelling DaDa, etc.

I caught a small portion of the fit on video:

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Grammy Vanessa's new camera

Vanessa has a new camera ... and I couldn't be more jealous. I want to throw my camera at the side of a moving truck when I see how cool hers is. I WANT THE NEW TOY TOO!!
Oh how I could annoy everyone I know by having my camera in their face MORE if i had that camera.

Here are some of her latest shots (she also took the close up of Carter's face in the entry titled: "Carter said another word today"):

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Beach

I brought Carter to the beach for the first time today. In my head, he was going to be slightly intimidated by the crashing waves, shells and other pointy objects in the sand…you know – unfamiliar things. Nope.

I sat him down on the sand so that I could set up our towel and get the beach ball ready – and he took off crawling at warp speed for the water. Apparently water for as far as the eye can see is not even slightly scary for Carter.
So we spent a lot of time running into and out of the water (with mommy’s help). He laughed and squealed and thought that this was just the most exciting thing (outside of Layla) that he could possibly be doing.

And then he screamed when mean mommy made him leave….and screamed…and screamed…and screammmmmmed. I guess we’ll be in the market for a beach house…or we will just have to buy sand to put on the floor in the bathroom. I’m up for either.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Carter said another word today

He has mastered “DaDa” now and even says it when appropriate (unlike the day he yelled DaDa and pointed at the nice man that brought our grocery bags to the car at Heinens).
But I have been crossing my fingers for quite some time now for a little “MaMa” action at some point. Every time I feed him, change his diaper, get him up from naps, etc – I say, “MaMa…I’m MaMa.” And point to myself while smiling really big.

This futile attempt at recognition only seems to make him giggle. Ha Ha…this lady’s crazy.

I have just been sitting back waiting for the day that he would come crawling up to me – point to me and yell “MaMa” and maybe even say “You’re the coolest mom ever MOM.”

You can imagine the emotional slap in the face I got when Carter went crawling up to Brutus today and yelled “Giddy!” Yup – that’s your effing kitty. Lucky kitty … gets a label. I’m just the lady that hugs you and feeds you and cleans you and plays with you all day….but suuuuuuure be excited over the kitty. The stinky-next-to-liter-box-pooping-kitty.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The ugly shoes

We have been trying to find summer shoes for Carter for almost 2 months now. I kid you not. But he has these Fred Flintstone feet (I say lovingly) that won’t fit into any shoe known to baby. I tried following the shoe size guide, I tried shoving his fat little foot into shoes to find ones that fit …nothing.
So I broke down and bought him crocs. Now, all soap boxes aside (somewhat) … I hate crocs. I hate them. And not just because the person that owns crocs is one of the biggest supporters (financially) of the Republican National Party (ok..that is 99% of the reason) but also because they’re ridiculous. I don’t know how this fab came about…it’s like we all want to look like we work in the ER.

Maybe they’re really comfortable, or maybe they do your dishes when you’re tired, either way – I’m not a fan of crocs.

But my kid’s fat feet fit in crocs. So I broke down. If another Bush ever gets elected to office … I will spend the rest of my life feeling guilty.

But yesterday, I found these sandals. Now, I’m not going to say they’re aesthetically pleasing. But they fit – and they don’t slip off (a fatal flaw of the crocs).

So, I was quite pleased. They fit him, they stay on his feet and he seems to not care if they’re on. So win win right? Nope.

Chad took one look and said, “my god honey – do those serve an orthopedic function…they’re terrible.”


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A boy and his dog

I already know that Carter will have a special relationship with Layla. He screams when he sees her, gets excited when she is in the room and Layla seems to be equally as happy with Carter (and protective of him too).

I’m sure Layla will get pulled on and Carter will attempt pony rides … but I think the two of them will be great buddies.

It melts my heart a little each time they have their own little moment.

Monday, June 8, 2009

This weekend...

Carter’s weekend included all of the following:
- Having a pj party at grandmas house on Friday and Saturday night
- Waking grandma up at 12:45 Saturday night
- Letting grandma go back to bed at 4am Sunday morning
- Playing in grandma’s yard

Mommy's weekend included all of the following:
- Drinking Smithwicks at a wine bar (don’t judge me)

- Drinking at non-wine bars
- Renting a boat on Lake Norman
- Getting pulled over in a boat on Lake Norman
- Floating around in the water on Lake Norman
- Floating around in the water on Lake Norman with Stanley the hippo
- Being delayed at the Charlotte airport for entirely too long (after a weekend of drinking)
- Hearing about Gretchen and Regina’s poop (ahhh…brings me back)

Daddy's weekend included all of the following:
- Playing golf in man Olympics while drinking
- Bowling in man Olympics while drinking
- Playing corn hole in man Olympics while drinking
- Winning this ridiculous thing in man Olympics

Ohh … and mommy's weekend also included deciding what to do about this trophy from man Olympics

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Happy (Early) Birthday Uncle Andy!

A special birthday "card" for you:

Happy Anniversary

I will be out of town this weekend (leaving my boys…and critters… to play and bond for another weekend).

But I did want to say a big Happy Anniversary to my parents. Tomorrow is their 38th anniversary. You guys rock!

Carter says “Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa…” and he plans to have a drink to toast to you (of white grape juice…but it still counts).

Nursery Project Hint #2

Here is part of the nursery wall. You may or may not be able to see it. But I have sketched in a tree - and have some paint samples on it to pick colors. Maybe I will get this project done sometime this month (read: year). Otherwise Carter will have to get used to having a tree in his teen boy's room.

The Front Door

What could possibly be more fun than the front door?

My days of sparkling clean windows are probably done.

The front door has become a gathering place at the GotFam's house. Carter and the critters tend to gather there to watch whatever may be going on outside (and in Lakewood...it could be worth watching).

Fat Mommy Boot Camp

Yesterday was the start of a new mommy & me fitness class (I like to think of it as fat girl boot camp). I apparently plan to attempt every work out regime known to man (or…new mommies) in order to get into bikini shape.

I actually, have lost all of the pregnancy weight (yay me!). But…it seems that weight has…well, redistributed (putting it that way makes it sound ok). But I am just not ok with where it redistributed to. I think after the pregnancy and giving-birth process – mommies should be allowed to pick where the weight will be redistributed to. Sounds fair right?

I can only imagine what Carter must think of this class. A bunch of fat-crazed mommies bouncing and moving around smiling and singing to the babies – while actually looking like they’re in pain. Add this to the list of things that I do that more than likely confuses the crap out of him.

Monday, June 1, 2009

To Sitter or not to sitter...that is my question

Being a stay at home gives you this weird aching guilt that you shouldn’t ever have someone watch (babysit) your child. I can’t put my finger on why. I always feel guilty about it. So I rush to get everything done when Carter’s napping or when Chad is watching him. Yet – I have a few things that are difficult to get to (doctors appointments, house cleaning, hair (yea…I said it!), etc). So…we’re looking for a sitter. Someone to watch Carter for a few hours every other week.

Now, since my entire family lives in other, various states…I can’t guilt my family members to watch Carter when I want to run out and have my hair done and frolic through boutiques sipping out of my flask of whiskey. And Chad comes from a very very small family…that we already push our luck with for babysitting.

So I have started my search online. There are sites that actually advertise sitters…and I admit I am fascinated with this! I can’t get enough of these sites! I love the profiles that people have – specifically, I love the reviews that their previous clients gave them. I find that sometimes – I read them…for fun!

Come on, if your best review says, “she showed up on time - everytime!” then maybe you should rethink posting reviews. Just post your profile. Jazz it up a little.

Or are my expectations too high? I actually expect a sitter to show up on time, just like I expect them to not be drunk when they show up, I expect them to flush the toilet after they use it, I expect them to not put all of my clothes on and run through the house in them – which, in my head are all normal and attainable expectations.

I mean – I’m not expecting a British woman to float out of the sky with an umbrella. But, finding the perfect sitter that loves kids and is excited to come hang out with Carter – I think that’s possible.

A few jobs ago (I love that I can say that), I worked at a start up company in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. It was great. I had this fabulous office (the kind with real walls…that went all the way to the ceiling…and weren’t padded) – this job was the one before my last corporate job (the one that somehow took all of my experience and threw it all down the crapper – and tried to turn me into a secretary – but – no hard feelings PARKER).

But the best part about the Chagrin job – nanny-robics. Our offices happen to be located right next to a world renowned nanny school. And at the same time each day – the nanny students would do (what looked like) aerobics … sometimes with dolls! It was fabulous. We would all simultaneously stop working - grab our coffee and sit on the tables by the windows (that faced the nanny school) and shamelessly watch and laugh our assess off. It was so surreal that this was happening in this quant little goofy town in Ohio. It was so Manhattan-ish.

Yet here I am – a few years later. Wondering who will treat Carter with respect, care, love…and I find myself thinking about the nanny school. Maybe one of the nannies decided not to work for some wealthy family on the east side that just wanted to throw nice cars and money at her … and instead wants to babysit for me once every other week.