Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Pardon the interruption

I will be temporarily not posting (for 3 days) while I selfishly bask in the sun and drink cocktails with pink umbrellas in them in Florida.

Here is Carter’s concerned look about mommy going away for a few days…

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More fun outside

Who would think that swings at the park would be such a milestone? Although, quite frankly, when Carter spits up we’re standing there with cameras and clapping. What can I say, we’re first time parents…everything he does is amazing to us. And everything he accomplishes is one step closer to his mensa enrollment in my head.
We all know that come kid number 2 (or if my husband gets his way – kid number 5) some of these things will not seem so magnificent.

He had his first swing ride this weekend. Now, I am fully aware that baby swings are essentially buckets with foot holes … so it’s not such a huge accomplishment that he sat in the bucket while we swung him. But it’s still pretty cute.
And we tried the adult swings and slides and toys too.
Note: oh yea - that's a cavs jersey you see on Carter.

So much to do - so much summer ahead...

Now, I realize that we don’t live in Antarctica. But after a long winter stuck inside in Cleveland Ohio, you get a little stir crazy. So when the warm weather came – everyone ran outside and didn’t want to go back in for anything outside of sleeping and using the restroom (unless you’re my husband).

We have brought Carter to the zoo multiple times now, a fair, the park, on walks, anything we can come up with. And he’s loving it.
Michael and I brought him to the zoo yesterday. How great is free zoo day! No comment on the sketch factor of some of the other free-zoo-day visitors.
And it wore him out completely.

In fact, he gets so worn out that we put him in his crib at night and he passes out without needing a book or his blanket or to be rocked…and he doesn’t wake up throughout the night. And we’re loving – well…because he doesn’t wake up throughout the night.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

There comes a time in your life when you think, “I just haven’t been to enough fair’s lately.”

We went to the Wooster, Ohio fairgrounds yesterday to the Home and Garden show (read: the “Amish people can build anything you want” show) with Chad’s mom. It was like walking out of the city and into …well…Wooster Ohio. Note: The photo above isn't the official Wooster County Fairgrounds photo ... it's just one of those random fairground-ish signs that I love.

There were horses, llamas, alpacas (honestly…I don’t know the difference between a llama and an alpaca), goats, chicks ...

and…wait for it….drum roll….a TRACTOR PULL. Oh yea…I said it. A tractor pull.

It’s really no secret that I am not a county-fair kinda girl. I just don’t fit into the whole show-your-cow-for-a-prize mentality. Yet (in this weird way) I find it all somewhat fascinating.

Carter loved being outside though, he loved the attention he got from grandma and all of her friends and he loved the animals. But most of all, he loved that grandma bought his first birthday present early (very early). He sort of picked it himself…and now we can barely pry him away from it.

So, bravo Wooster Ohio. You successfully entertained my son for the day. And anything that can make my kid happy enough and fulfilled enough to sleep through the night equals two thumbs up to me.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Lion Cut

One of the things we knew when we adopted a long haired cat was that we would have to brush him ... a lot. And one of the things we knew when we had a son was that we would have no time for anything anymore. So you see where this is going. Yes yes, I have not been brushing Brutus enough.

And the downfall to not brushing your kitty enough - having to have him shaved to get rid of his random weird chunk of hair hanging from his side. I'm very sorry for this hair cut Brutus ... I really am.'s just so funny.

And the bow...that just adds insult to injury.

Happy Anniversary!

Today marks 250 years of Guinness Goodness. Happy Anniversary to you Guinness! I love you!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The child is trying to tell me something…

A few times a week – I let Carter watch a Baby Einstein DVD. He loves them. But I’m trying not to be the mom that lets my kid watch 23 hours of tv a day (yet).

When he’s watching his dvd – I run around and clean the house, drink coffee, read the news, cry about my hair, anything I want (for those glorious 30 minutes).

Here is my problem with this: he is learning things from the dvd … and I don’t know what they are. I sort of just trust that the Baby Einstein corporation isn’t teaching my child bad things.

I’m assuming he’s not going to run out and join some Baby Einstein cult by the time he’s one. Nope…I have all of the confidence in the world that anything named ‘something -Einstein’ is just good good good.
Obviously … this rule only works within reason…if “Satan Einstein” showed up at my door to babysit Carter – I may think twice.

I digress…

So I have been noticing that Carter is using some sign language. Which makes sense since his DVD is baby sign language. Problem being, I don’t know what he’s saying to me. I haven’t actually watched the video. So he could be saying “Change me woman” or “I’M STARVING” and I am saying “ohh...are you waving at mommy…you’re so cute…good boy.”

I guess it’s time I sit down and watch the video.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Allow me to start off by saying “I know this will sound vain and more than likely childish but…”

My hair looks awful. AWFUL. Under no circumstances should I ever be allowed to go to a salon when I am feeling like I want to be spunky. Because I always say, “do something fun,” thinking that I would actually be ok with what the hairstylists deems as fun.

Well, I’m not ok with it. I’m just not. I guess I’m just not the do-something-spunky-on-my-head kinda girl…anymore. The hairstylists apparently thought I should be more (fake) blonde. And by blonde I mean horribly orangish (Lindsay lohan-ish) TERRIBLE.

To sum this all up: I’MMMMM UGGGLLLYYY

Coming to terms with being the stinky mom

Let me start off by saying – we have missed music class for over a month now. One week Carter was sick, two weeks he was napping (and it was right during sleep training – so I couldn’t mess with his naps), and one week music class was off for Easter break.

So when this week’s music class came up – we were ready. Carter had his normal morning routine; everything was gearing up to equal a good music class attendance. And then boom – he refused to nap. Ok, I can deal with that. I have distracted sleepy Carter into being happy before. So we get dressed and head out to class.

The background on this is that we live around the corner from the Beck Center where we attend class. Literally, you can see the building from our backyard. So – we walk. And I don’t usually bring the diaper bag.

So there I am, at class, ten minutes early. All proud that we’re there and clothed and not cranky and I think to myself, “what is that smell? This room smells weird.” Nope, that was my stinky kid. Who had poo-sploded.

Now, do I leave him in his poo and run the risk that he noticed and reacts? Or do I run home and change him as fast as I can? I can’t leave him in poo. If for some reason I pooped my pants – I would hate the person that made me sit in it. So we run. We change, and then we run back.
Now I stink. I am sweating. I’m the stinky mom. But at least my kid smells good.

Monday, April 20, 2009

A man on the move...

He's still working on crawling (he combat crawls). But he now stands up and walks along furniture, around his crib, anywhere he can.

We have a little baby walker to help him...and he is somewhere between eating it and walking with it most of the time.

And he's trying to break free from any form of containment. He has been trying to figure out the crib for awhile now, has the stroller straps down pat and is currently working on the highchair straps. We're giving it a few months before he has this gate figured out.

The Opossum

You know you’re a city girl when…

Me: Do you hear a weird animal noise?
Friend: Yea – where is that coming from…your garage?
Garage opens…
Me: Oh my god – is that a hairless cat? That is the ugliest cat ever…
Friend: Is it screaming…what is that sound?
Me: Is it coming towards us?
Friend: Should we move?
Me: Why is that hairless cat running towards us screaming?
Friend: Is it an albino cat?

Things I forget about warm weather...

I love spring. I love being able to go outside. I love my front porch. I love my front porch swing. I just love warm weather (not hot...warm).

Every year when it finally gets nice enough outside to drive with car windows open – I remember certain warm weather things. Things that seem to slip my mind come fall.

Just like how people ‘forget how to drive in the snow’…we all forget things about nice weather too.

Things like:

1.) How it’s not socially acceptable to listen to Celine Dion with your windows down.
2.) The unspoken social etiquette of sidewalk walking.
3.) How people don't know how to wear flipflops that actually fit (every single summer I get all grossed out by seeing people’s heels hanging off the back of their flipflops…just get a bigger size already).
4.) Drinking dark beer in the summer isn’t as fun as it is in the winter … and the more I try – the more I am mad at myself for wasting beer.
5.) The Lakewood bad crazies come out. I don’t know where they were all winter…but they emerge when the sun comes out – and dwell in the center of Lakewood (around chipotle).
6.) The Lakewood good crazies come out. The hippies are back! And they’re all sitting in front of the coffee shop across from Caribou.
7.) The Lakewood Mafia. We haven’t figure out where they’re from, or what they do, or even what language they’re speaking…but they will be at the Caribou in Lakewood and Cravings in Rocky River now until fall…intimidating all customers equally.
8.) The radio will now play “summertime” by Will Smith entirely too much
9.) Girls wear skirts that are too short – and then sit like boys without thinking that someone may not want to be basic-instincted by them.

You know – I could go on with this…but I have to stop myself…

Friday, April 17, 2009

The zoo!

We brought Carter to the Cleveland Zoo yesterday. We have been to the indoor rainforest part - and he really likes that.

So we put on his little adventure hat and went to see the critters.

Little did we know, everyone living in Cuyahoga county was also going to be at the zoo...including a whole group of amish people (that I naturally became obsessed with...what can I say - I am fascinated with Amish people). Carter saw lions...

He saw a weird monkey thing (and i freaked out that he touched the dirty glass...and LICKED the window)...

He saw Koalas, kangaroos, camels, dingos, leopards, yaks, giraffes...

But his favorite, the pond. Yup - he likes water. Specifically, he liked the bubbling water part at the duck/goose pond.

He didn't quite make it to the bear exhibits, the polar bears, the monkeys, etc. It was just too long of a day for him. So he pulled his hat over his eyes and went to sleep.

We will be back at the zoo again very soon.

The Critters

Dear Layla,
Mommy and Daddy Love you. We may lecture you when you bark and wake up Carter, we may scold you when you play with his toys, we may not walk you as much, mommy may get mad when you cry when Carter is crying - but rest assured - we love you as much as we always have. And Carter loves you too.

Dear Brutus,
We actually love you less. Stop pooping right next to the liter box.

Reason #550 why I love my Husband so much:

Tidbits from an actual conversation with my husband (via texting) (from the Great Northern Mall shopping trip):

Me: I have been waiting for the handi dressing room for 15 minutes now because I can't fit the stroller in a normal dressing room
Chad: Why?
Me: Some lady is in there and has been for a VERY LONG time..not to mention - she keeps farting
Chad: Gross
Me: If she comes out and isn't in a wheel chair, i'm gonna beat the piss out of her
Chad (15 minutes later): Did she come out yet?
Me: Oh yea...and it smells nasty in here
Chad: Was she in a wheel chair?
Me: Nope
Chad: Bitch

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Public announcement

Dear Shoppers at Great Northern Mall,

I would like to take a moment to sincerely apologize for the meltdown that my son had today. I know that baby meltdowns in malls (and all public places) are very annoying. And Yes, I saw you all glaring at me while I sprint-strolled through the mall towards my car. But No, your glares do not make my son stop crying. They just make me wish that I had never glared at people with screaming children.

We are still working on sleep training and always try to have him in his crib for naps – unless there is some valid reason that we can’t have him there.

Today’s valid reason: mommy needed to get out of the house. And more specifically, mommy wanted to shop. And I fully planned to be back in time for the afternoon nap.

However, I didn’t take into consideration that with a stroller – you have to use the handicap dressing room. And I also didn’t take into consideration that some non-handicap woman was going to occupy the handicap dressing room for more than 20 minutes.

So, please accept my apology. And feel free to quietly blame the non-handicap lady (who also passed a lot of gas and made it nearly impossible to even try on the clothes that I had brought in).

Good Day

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Michael yeaaaa

Happy Birthday Michael! We love you, love you, love you...

Monday, April 13, 2009

After a lengthy debate about the state of Carter’s hair, Chad apparently took matters into his own hands

We have gone back and forth about wanting to cut his hair. If we do – we’re breaking some weird unwritten parental rule stating “thou shalt not cut childs hair until 1 year of age,” and then there is some follow up addendum about saving a lock of it.
We get that question a lot, “Will you save a lock of hair.” Yes, yes everyone – I will save a lock of his hair. Though I don’t know what I will do with it later.

Fast forward 20 years:

Me: Carter, look at this lock of your baby hair
Carter: That’s weird mom
Me: You know, I thought so too…but after saving it for 20 years and 8 months…you had better take two seconds to appreciate it and look at it
Carter: ok mom

So after a few very small trims here and there (mainly to remove that weird super long chunk of hair that used to be directly on top of his head…sticking straight up) we decided that he should have at least one trim around his ears.

I did not agree to this type of trim though

Here Comes Peter CottonTail

In my head, Carter was going to run down the stairs Easter Morning trying to catch the Easter Bunny leaving eggs around the house (that sounds gross...maybe it's because I had a pet rabbit..and she did leave things around the house for me).

Sure ... go ahead and ask yourself why I pictured Carter running down stairs, looking for bunnies and eggs, comprehending easter, etc. It's a valid question. And I can't honestly say why I picture these advanced things outside of, he just learns stuff faster than I imagined. He always surprises me.

He learned to stand all in one week (before he could really even crawl well) ... so what are we suppose to expect this week? Walking, running, talking, talking-back, girlfriends, driving, getting some girl in his highschool pregnant, I don't know.

We're just happy that he was excited to see new toys. Plus, Chad was happy that we put Carter in a little golf sweater vest and I was happy with the turtle easter basket from Target.

All in all, Easter was pretty fun for little Carter. He got to go to PA for the first time to see family and the easter bunny brought him all sorts of goodies and toys.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

State of the House Address

It's 7am and Chad just went back to bed. He was up all morning (since 4) with Layla - who can't stop throwing up. There was doggy puke in almost everyroom in the house. Where she didn't the living room where Carter plays and in his nursery. Say it with me: GOOD DOG!!

The cat is chasing around Carter's play balls.

Carter is pooping...while standing in his exercauser.

I am blogging, while watching Carter's face turn red, drinking coffee, with a head ache (why why why do i always drink one glass of wine too many?) and watching our neighbor put his rug out on the front porch (which usually means somebody puked on the floor - but who am I to judge...I drank too much and Layla puked all how is our house different?).

Friday, April 10, 2009


Sometimes when Carter first wakes up from naps - we hear forms of words through the baby monitor.

Last week was DaDa meets Daddy. Which is my fault, I use both words to describe Chad. I throw out a, "DaDa is on the phone" or "Yea Daddy is home." I'm confusing the baby.

You may have to turn up your volume to hear him. This is his post-nap quiet voice.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


We have noticed a funny phenomenon for the last few days. Carter had pretty much mastered sleeping for naps and at night – when all of the sudden he stopped sleeping through the night.

But he didn’t necessarily scream for us to come get him. He just made a lot of noises in his crib and after a while would seem tired and fussy and the noises would die down.

So, we have been going about our business assuming that he was teething and were just happy that he was able to soothe himself back to sleep.

Finally, after his morning nap today – I realized what all of the nighttime noises have been about. He has learned to stand. And he thinks it the MOST FUN THING EVER.

If you're wondering why we didn't have the mattress (in the crib) on the very bottom slot - it's because our baby can barely crawl. He still drags himself to crawl.

And he just pulled himself into the sitting position a few days ago (for the first time). We honestly thought we had another month (or 5) before this madness began.

And I guess when you learn to stand in one place ... why not try it EVERYWHERE? He wants to stand in his highchair, he wants to stand on the side of the couch, he wants to stand on the dog, he wants to stand in the shopping cart, you name it - and his goal is to stand there.

So, mommy and Carter took an emergency trip to Toys R Us today to buy extra baby gates. I am baby gating the CRAP out of our upstairs. If he ever does break out of nighttime confinement - the last thing we want is for him to find the stairs.

Bravo Baby Carter - for always keeping us on our feet. You are bound to be an entertaining toddler.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Our little flirt...

Carter continues to have a crush on Vanessa. He smiles and coos and holds his hands out to be picked up. Little flirt.

And I guess he has Dave's heart too. Afterall, who else would gramps let stand on his pool table?

Mr. Weeble

Internet, meet Mr. Weeble. Mr. Weeble - meet internet.

Of all of the expensive, unique and brightly colored toys we have for Carter...this goofy little flat-bottomed weeble (from my childhood) is his favorite.
In case you're wondering - Mr. Weeble does fall down ... because he is flat on the fit into his weeble car.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Staying Home

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have heard everyone's opinion of this job. I don't necessarily remember asking anyone for their opinion, but it's one of those professions that isn't considered a profession and seems to be "open to conversation."

Stranger still, all of my duties (haa) are also up for conversation and daily reviews. By friends, family, passers by, you name em' and they have opinions. Are my floors clean enough, are my groceries perfectly lined up in the cabinets and always well stocked, does dinner look like it came from a picture in Good Housekeeping, etc.

One moron - by the name of Linda Hirshman, a "Professor of Women's Studies," went so far as to recently comment in an article in the Washington Post, "I guess working women are too busy at work to blog about their lives and are already on their way to their jobs when "Good Morning America" puts me on at 8 a.m." (to discuss another pointless article she had previously written that set the stay-at-home-mommies across the world into one gigantic shit storm of anger).

For starters, LINDA, (aka...professor of hairy under-arm studies) are you a mother? Do you have any idea what goes into raising a child?

Second, LINDA, (lady who shoulda' taken a computers class so you would realize that blogging is easy and takes 2 seconds) - women at (away-from home) work DO blog. I used to. My friends do.

Ever hear of the term being "dooced??" (

They just have to hide it so they don't get fired for "wasting company time." Which, after most of the companies I worked for, it is my opinion that most everything during company time is a waste of time period.

I.E, my previous job (at a huge company that I will not name) had mandatory stretching in the morning that was considered team building exercise time...and meetings about meetings - to schedule meetings that were geared to talk about bigger don't talk to me about what people spend their time doing at work.

Which brings me to my final point - I work harder now than I ever did in ANY corporate job. ANY. And I had some very good jobs. And don't try to say that it was just my job...because if you have a corporate job - you spend 90% of your day on your ass in front of your computer. Which isn't a luxury I am afforded at my new job.

I guess my point is, leave stay at home mothers alone. Why do people question what stay-at-home mothers do? Why is there any challenge to whether or not I spend my time well?

I have heard friend's of Chad's say, "so and so just wants to have a baby so she can be a stay at home." As if squeezing a watermelon out of your who-ha (or being sliced from side to side as I was) is this effortless field day that ends with a lifetime of workless days and party-filled nights.

Looking back at my corporate life, I remember fondly being able to take a pee break without having the following thought process go through my head:

"What is he doing ... why is he quiet, maybe if i yell his name from the bathroom he will make a noise ... what is he into, he's in a perfectly baby proofed room - but is there anything in there he could get into, what if he bumped his head, hurry up pee stream, maybe i should stop peeing to check on him, ahh done, come on pants button, how fast can i wash my hands, did i just hear him, i should just use the bathroom when he sleeps."

Monday, April 6, 2009

Girls Girls Girls

Carter's buddy Jillian came over for a playdate today. But she's very small still and Carter's version of play is slightly...bam bam-ish. So we're more "looking" than "playing."

I don't think me saying "gentle" over and over again is sinking in just yet. And since he grabs for the dogs eyes everytime he wants to play with her ... I'm thinking he needs to be at least arms distance from Jillian until she's old enough to smack him back.

He spent so much time reaching and climbing this morning to try to get to Jillian that he wore himself out and had to go take his nap early. I guess he's girl crazy already.

I'm so not ready for the birds and bees talk.